4-17-2017 Day 5. Fear.

April 17, 2017

Day 5

Ft. Davis, Tx

Davis Mountain National Park

Miles driven: 1,160

Currently Reading: Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck

Currently listening to: The clatter of a small town laundromat cleaning my clothes.


Fear.

It was just after dawn when the birds began chirping and the rustling of wildlife broke the silence of the night.  The air was cool and dry, but drops of dew beaded across the top of my rain fly.  My eyes groggily half opened and I took in the morning symphony that only the wilderness can provide.  I smiled, closed my eyes and continued to snooze; I was in no hurry to do anything.

Boss however was experiencing a completely different morning that myself.  Being a dog from the city, he hadn’t quite gotten adjusted to the lack of rules.  There were no sidewalks. There were no dog parks. There were no homeless people affirming his greatness wherever he went.  He was, to say the least, uncomfortable.

He perched at my side, ears up, surveying the strange noises coming from outside the tent.  Suddenly, we could both hear something walking around outside of the tent.  Boss immediately went into tense mode.  His ears pointed, the hair on his neck stood up and he focused intently on what was walking around the tent outside.  I could feel the rumble of a growl coming from deep inside of him. I tried to calm him, but to no avail.

The rustles grew closer, they seemed to be circling around the tent.  Every so often there would be a squeal or a screech, something I couldn’t identify, but wasn’t worried about.  After about 5 minutes of this terrible monster digging around, Boss couldn’t take it anymore.  He went completely from aggressive attention to pure fear.  He began to shake and whimper as this beast continued to circle the tent.  I wasn’t ready to get up, so I grabbed him, pulled him inside the sleeping bag and held him close, trying to calm his fear.  After a while, he finally calmed down and went back to sleep.

About an hour later, I was ready to get up and face the day.  We hopped out of the tent and went to make breakfast of granola and tea and read for a few hours.  While I was reading, I heard that same rustling sound, followed by that screechy-squeal.  I looked up from my book and saw, about 20 yards away, a young bluebird about 4 inches tall, rustling around for insects and trying to signal his mom with his undeveloped voice.

I took a moment to laugh.  But I only laughed for a moment because I too am familiar with the terror of the unknown.  Sometimes we can make something into a bigger monster than it really it.  As a kid, I was afraid of the shadows drifting across my walls at night or the hum of the ancient radiator at my great-grandmother’s farmhouse.  They terrified me to my core, but only because I didn’t understand them.

In life, we come across a lot of things that frighten us.  Usually these things are only scary because they are the unknown.  The fear of the unknown can paralyze you to your core, but it is not always rational.  I would say, the next time doing something scares you—whether it be getting a new job, talking to that person you have always liked or even just taking a step outside of your comfort zone—take a minute and think if your fear is real or just in your head.  Overcoming fears is a great step to evolving as a human being and usually they are about as harmful as a little squeaky baby bird.